Be A Meaningful Mentor
Did you know, 63% of women have never had a formal mentor? Being asked to be a mentor is a highly rewarding privilege. It means somebody has identified you as an intelligent and inspirational figure who could benefit others with their guidance.
The role of a mentor is to be an experienced and trusted advisor. Mentorship is an intimate and vulnerable space that must be navigated with intention and care. A person’s development is counting on it.
Create a Mentorship Contract
The first mentoring session is all about finding chemistry. Getting to know their background, career interests and personality will help you understand their goals and challenges a lot better.
Set mutual expectations and goals. This is highly important to establish early on in your mentoring relationship. To avoid any miscommunication and disappointment, outline together:
What your mentee wants to get out of a mentoring relationship with you
What you expect of them, and vice versa
How often you will meet/talk
Your expertise and how you can best help
Discuss your working style and set your own boundaries. Be open with your mentee by explaining your limitations and how you want to work together. This includes how often you should meet, how long you want the sessions to be, and how you prefer to communicate
Understand Mentee’s Current State
Study your mentee. Listen, observe, ask questions, and only then advise. It’s your role to encourage self-discovery.
Gain as much information and clarity about your mentee’s aspirations, situation and roadblocks as you can. Be open-minded and inquisitive! Try an assessment activity such as the Bird Personality Test or development workbook like Presence: the Great Equalizer.
Never assume anything about your mentee
Be patient and allow them to explore their own ideas
Dig deep and ask open-ended questions
Get to know your mentee on a personal level
Read your mentee’s body language and expressions
Take notes during your mentoring sessions and follow up on what was said
Give Transparent Feedback & Empathize
Your mentee is here to be counseled. So, don’t skimp on the honest and constructive feedback.
Stress confidentiality. It’s good to remind your mentee that everything they say or discuss is entirely confidential and stays between you two.
Keep feedback specific and neutral – critique an action or a behavior, not their personality – and also make it a two-way conversation!
Good mentors can help their mentees realize their own mistakes or areas of improvement with insightful questions, rather than simply telling them what to do. This is known as the 'Socratic method' – try it by asking questions such as:
"What went right?"
"What could have gone better?"
"What could you do differently in the future?"
"What assumptions are you making here?"
"Are there alternative viewpoints you've not considered?"
Equally, be open to sharing your own mistakes and failures! Sharing your misteps in your journey help strengthen a trusting and vulnerable relationship.
Admitting faults will make you more human and approachable, and is likely to also encourage mentees to be more open about their own mistakes with you.
Be a Back Seat Driver
To be a good mentor, you must realize that it’s your job to provide the directions, not to drive the car.
Think of yourself as a driving instructor in a passenger’s seat. You can encourage them to tackle more challenging routes and give your advice, but ultimately, they're in control of the vehicle.
Use the Socratic method we just discussed, and get your mentee to arrive at the conclusion you want by asking them thought-provoking questions. Remember, you're a guide – not a manager and not a parent figure. Point them in the right direction but let them figure out the way.
It's important to also always expect more from your mentee. This will mean you naturally challenge them and push them out of their comfort zone, which is when some of the best learning happens!
Take Action & Open Doors
Mentors who follow through with actions are the ones who stand out the most!
Take note of the areas in which your mentee wants to grow, and always look for opportunities to point them in the right direction.
Consider:
Recommend relevant books, events, podcasts, blogs or classes
Seek out or create projects related to skills your mentee wants to develop
Introduce them to appropriate people in your network
Enable quick wins by establishing short-term goals and measuring their success
Celebrate your mentees’ progress by recapping their accomplishments or writing recommendations on LinkedIn.
Being a mentor is being a trusted advisor. It involves making yourself available to support and advise someone when they need it, delivering that support in a way that makes sense to them, and always keeping that person's best interests in mind.